Irrational thoughts. We all get them. 

Whether we are ruminating over an argument that we had, convincing ourselves we aren’t good enough, or questioning whether we are capable of achieving our dreams, the thread that ties all of these moments together is cognitive distortion.

Cognitive distortions, are “simply ways that our mind convinces us of something that isn’t really true. These inaccurate thoughts are usually used to reinforce negative thinking or emotions — telling ourselves things that sound rational and accurate, but really only serve to keep us feeling bad about ourselves”.

Some of the most common ways in which we distort our reality with our thoughts include:

• Over exaggeration
• Jumping to conclusions
• Seeing only our own point of view
• Personalizing
• Copy and pasting past experiences onto future experiences
• Catastrophizing

I have personally experienced all these types of cognitive distortion and have felt the hopeless feelings that come from never being to escape my own mind. It’s scary. It’s paralyzing. And it can slow down any progress that we are aiming for in our lives- a new diet, exercise routine, career choice, lifestyle, etc.

So, what do we do? 

Well, prior to taking any steps to get rid of your irrational thoughts, you must commit.

Commit to yourself.

Commit to being open to new ideas.

Commit to being open to change.

Why?

Because in order for you to get rid of your negative, irrational thoughts you must be willing to form new habits. 

For example, as of now how many positive thoughts have you had today? Can you remember?

How about negative ones?

For most readers, you’ll realize that, naturally, your mind remembers more negative than positive thoughts. And that is a self-created, and most importantly, 

A self-perpetuated habit.

Anything that is self-created, can be self-dissolved.

REMEMBER THIS.
REPEAT THIS.

Got it?

Great! Because now with this mantra you are able to move into the technique.

4-Step Technique

This technique is something that can be utilized in practically any situation. As someone who has experienced crippling anxiety, worry, and stress both in private and public settings, I wanted to have something that I could pull out of my toolbox no matter what. Something I could count on. Something that was easy to commit to for myself, and for others.

Step O: Commitment

Hold up! Before embarking on changing your mindset, don’t forget to set a commitment. 

Whether you journal it, record it, tell your friends about it, meditate on it, or whatever you fancy- make it known. 

Start by creating the space for change to happen. Add in some extra space for mistakes, challenges, and forgetfulness (a.k.a life happens). Allow yourself to embrace every aspect of the learning process.

Step 1: Awareness

What’s that, brain? Oh, is that another irrational thought I’m having about my abilities, capabilities, talents, and worthiness?

Well- now the spotlight is on you.

Put the spotlight on your thoughts- Notice them, pause, and write them down.

And don’t worry- I’m not asking you to go caveman-style with a pen and paper.

I’m pretty sure you’re either reading this on a device that has typing capabilities- so grab your phone, or open up a note app, and just write down your thought(s).

If you’re in public do it on your phone. 

If you’re in a meeting, conference, or just have no access- just imagine the thought as a cloud or balloon hovering in front of you.

Externalize the thought.

Breathe in deeply and breathe out deeply…

Step 2: Separation

Now that you have noticed and externalized your thoughts,

Pause.

See the thought outside of yourself. Not tied to you in anyway- temporary and fleeting.

Breathe in deeply and breathe out deeply…

Embrace the physical space that you have created between you, this thought, and your feelings.

Check in with yourself, Do you feel any different?

Step 3: Replacement

Recognize the transient nature of your thought now. 

Every thought is transient and momentary.

You are not who you were yesterday. Two seconds ago. 10 years ago. Or tomorrow.

You are now.

You are worthy.

You can do this.

Breathe deeply and exhale deeply…

If you wrote down your thought- Can you identify any of the classical distortion methods that your brain used? write down a positive response to your thought.

For example: if I wrote that I believed I couldn’t achieve anything in my life, I would respond by writing that this thought is a gross over exaggeration of my life. That I have achieved things. And that I define achievement as taking risks, following my interests, my bliss, and choosing to see each moment as an opportunity for growth and resilience.

Breathe deeply and exhale deeply…

If you are imagining your thought as a cloud or balloon- Picture the cloud dissipating and vanishing before your eyes with any negative energy being released along with it. The balloon floating away from you or popping before your eyes and any negative emotions vanishing with it.

Breathe deeply and exhale deeply…

Step 4: Compassion

This part is always the hardest for me- I’m one of those individuals for whom self-love didn’t come easily, so I am more than well-acquainted with the emptiness that accompanies a fake  “I love myself!” proclamation.

But, that is exactly why self-compassion must be practiced as much as possible. 

And why I am including it in the last step of this technique.

Whether you have now been able to let go of your irrational thoughts and negative feelings or you are still tied up with them, take a moment to thank yourself internally for taking the time to pause, reflect, and make the choice to help yourself.

To stand up for yourself.

To love yourself.

You are absolutely amazing 🙂

Smile.

You deserve it.

Now while this article was a long read (I know!), this technique can take you under 5 minutes- you can really give this practice as much space and time as you can.

As you want.

Make it yours 🙂