3 Simple Ways To Bring More Stability Into Your Life
When does life ever go exactly how you want and when you want it? I’m sure most of us can agree that not only does this rarely ever happen, but when it does, it only happens sporadically. It’s ironic to me that most of us spend the entirety of our lives seeking stability externally in hopes that
Eventually
Maybe
we will be able to predict the changes coming our way like the changes in the weather.
We aim for financial stability by taking jobs that offer us a decent paycheck but lack any sense of community or personal development.
We stay stuck in our old routines because we are afraid to uproot ourselves and face the unknown even though it may be killing us physically, psychologically, or emotionally.
We choose relationships out of fear of being alone in the turbulent world, only to recognize that these individuals aren’t able to provide us that inner sense of wellbeing that we are all always seeking.
What I’ve come to realize is that while it may be easier to latch onto external stability to get through challenging times temporarily, that the only way to feel rooted in your own life is to be rooted from within.
After choosing to leave a financially stable job only to move half-way across the country to follow my own values, I have had a roller coaster ride through life. Like most of us who embark on a journey, ready to start fresh with a clean slate, part of me believed that this new city and lifestyle would magically turn my life into a seamlessly woven paradise where arguments, plumbing issues, hairballs, and any difficulties were a thing of the past.
But chaos still followed. Disappointment lurked around every corner because I was still living my life the exact same way, expecting different results. I could no longer hide behind the same excuses of why my life wasn’t going the way I wanted and why I wasn’t feeling any more stable than before my move.
This feeling of deep insecurity, in myself, my abilities, my finances, my life were all tied to my own, individual perspective on life.
And tied directly to the actions taken based on these perspectives.
How I Aim For Inner Stability
Just like any other skill in life, I believe that inner stability can be achieved through consistent and direct attention to the self.
Just like a tree that grows and feeds its own developing root system so that it may withstand storms and hardships, we can also similarly feed our own individual root system that over time only grows stronger and in need of less maintenance. I’ve found that the following 3 techniques are the most versatile and effective for me at achieving feelings of safety and stability.
Mantras
Mantras are typically short phonemes, utterances, or words used in yogic practices to help focus the mind and aid in reaching a higher state of consciousness. The use of mantras is primarily linked to Hinduism, as some of the earliest mantras originated from Vedic Sanskrit texts about 3,000 years ago. Mantra literally translates to mean “a tool for the mind” (mana– mind) (tra-tool) and this tool has been utilized not only in Hinduism but Jainism, Buddhism, Sikhism, Judaism, and Christianity and other religious groups. Mantras, such as “Om”, “Om Mani Padme Hum”, “Sat Nam” have always been considered a sacred tool that when uttered out loud creates a vibrational change in our being, reduce the noise of our chattering minds, and allow us to tap into a deeper place of focus and awareness.
However, with the westernization of yoga- mantras have taken on a more general definition of “intention” and come to include phrases, sayings, and quotes that may motivate an individual or create a certain frame of mind.
Repetition is key as over time, positive mantras begin to replace the negative thought patterns in our brains and in our emotional state of being.
An example of a stability mantra (intention) that I have been using consistently and that has been crucial to my progress is
I’m stable, I’m strong
I’m safe, I belong
While this mantra may not seem unique, it’s universal.
And it is also a reminder of the deeper truths that we tend to forget when we get caught up in our daily routines.
Consider repeating this mantra in your head or out loud whenever you feel insecure in your own being. Let it wipe away any negative thoughts that may persist when life throws you curveballs because no matter how horrible external circumstances may seem, internally you can choose to feel rooted, strong and safe.
Meditation
One way to gain a better sense of our own inner strength is by simply creating the time and space to notice it.
Most of our feelings of instability come from a Frankenstein version of our past and future fears mixed with external impressions, social comparisons, and inner judgment.
Living in a world where we are almost always connected to the internet via phone, tv, computer, or tablet it’s no surprise that we also subconsciously seek a certain level of fulfillment and thus, stability from these interactions.
Meditation is simply a way to shut off those externally bombarding stimuli (yes, this can even mean loved ones) in order to gain a bit of clarity and peace from constantly having to respond and react to external situations.
I recommend that next time you feel like the world is falling apart, to find a quiet, secluded place where you can close your eyes.
And just let your mind settle.
Maybe not down to zero thought completely, but maybe down to zero externally planted thoughts.
For example, if you are applying for jobs and getting consistently rejected, you may feel unstable and insecure financially and personally. And while it is normal to feel upset, ask yourself, why?
Are you upset because you aren’t living up to a certain set of expectations? Who set those expectations? Did you?
What most of us will realize when we allow ourselves the time and space for reflection, is that a lot of our feelings of instability are fueled through our deep connection to the external.
When we meditate, we separate from the external “shoulds” and “musts”. We feel our breath coursing through our bodies and our flesh being held up by the strength of our muscles, bones, and joints.
We feel our heartbeat and we can recognize that, in actuality, beyond the minds crude exaggerations,
We are O.K.
We are stable and we are rooted.
Visualization
Have you ever imagined yourself on a beach enjoying the warm rays of the sun? Or the taste of that delicious, creamy ice cream as you wait in line to order?
These are just a few examples of how our minds elaborate and enhance our own experiences through imagination.
The difference between a conscious choice to visualize a particular image/scenario and the examples above is that most of us utilize our imagination to further enhance frivolous fantasies.
What if next time you felt unsettled, instead of imagining yourself outside of the present moment, you imagined yourself rooting down into the moment?
To circle back to the analogy of the tree, how useful would it be for the tree to imagine itself anywhere other than where it is currently planted?
Sure it can whisk itself away to an island far away, where the weather is mild and consistent rather than erratic- but would this fantasy protect the tree any more from its current existence?
I don’t think so.
My point here is that instead of running away with our imagination, we should use it as a tool to further root down in the present.
Next time you feel untethered by the circumstances in your life, consider this visualization & mantra combo. If you have access to the outdoors, I highly recommend practicing this on the grass with bare feet.
Practice
- Stand with your hands at your side, feet hip distance apart, and eyes closed.
- Imagine yourself as an ancient tree that has seen hundreds of years of change, turmoil, sunshine, wind, snow, and rain.
- Take a few deep breaths and visualize the roots of your tree extending out of your feet, past the floors and ground beneath you extending deep into the moist, dark, rich soil.
- As you breathe deeply in and out, you feel yourself connected to the earth and it’s nurturing energy.
- Feel your roots absorbing vital nutrients from within the heart of the earth and bringing them up into your body.
- Repeat the mantra, “I am stable, I am strong, I am safe, I belong”
- Feel the energy of the earth supporting you. The underground network of organisms, plant matter, and life sustaining you.
- You stand now tall, radiating stability into all aspects of your being, grounded in your own inner strength.