My Journey Through Yoga Teacher Training Weeks 1-3

I never saw myself actually going for it, but here I am! In the middle of an incredible yoga teacher training (YTT) in Boulder, CO. Yoga was introduced to me through my parents at an adolescent age. 

Since then, I have always felt a deep connection to the Eastern philosophies and, after taking my first Buddhism class in undergrad, I was enamored. I fell in love with the philosophies and way of life in the East that was so different from the traditional points of views that I grew up with. And while I held onto this fascination and deep gratitude for the practices for years after graduating with a degree in Eastern Religion, I never thought I would pursue it as more than a mere hobby. But here I am 🙂

It’s taken me years and years to finally get to a point where I feel ready enough to dive deep into the texts I had once read and re-evaluate them as they pertain to my life.

Here & now.

Moving to Boulder, CO meant being closer to this mecca of studios, hippies, alternative healers and I didn’t know where to begin. This deep desire to find a studio that went beyond the physical poses (asanas) was essential for me because I believe (in addition to how it has always been seen and passed down in its original form) that yoga is an embodied way of life, not just a single pose. The poses that we utilize throughout the class are meant to focus our chronically distracted monkey-minds and instill a richer relationship with our bodies, minds, and souls.

To be frank, it wasn’t easy to find a studio that blended traditional Hindu texts with modern interpretations steeped in rich cultural mythology.

But I believe that if you have a vision that you aim for, and you focus your energies into this vision, it will come.

So, with this in mind, I searched high and low for a place that felt like home and I found it at Earth Yoga Boulder. The journey from the moment that I entered this cozy studio and felt at home, to the start of the program 5 months later, I had no idea the level of inner transformation that would be in store. I believe that any program is as beneficial to you as you make it. Entering into this sacred space filled with beautifully-placed Hindu gods and goddess statues, knowing that I would exit 3 months later as a teacher, was incredible. Undefinable and most of all, scary.

This is my insiders view of what it’s like to go through a YTT while starting a new job and aiming to find a balance between family, friends, personal goals, and requirements. The first three weeks can be summarized in this statement:

When you thought you had it all figured out, life reminds you that you actually just started.

BALANCE

Work-life balance; dietary balance; sleep balance; relationship balance. If we look at our lives and those around us, we could probably agree that most of us are juggling more than one thing in our lives at a time. And it’s tough. Being out of the “corporate 9-5” world for over a year, gave me the freedom to wake up when I wanted, do what I wanted whenever I chose to or not. There was so much time on my hands that balance, while it was always a part of my day, never became necessary. If I wanted to see my friends, I would go when I felt like it. When I needed to go grocery shopping, I would go when I felt like it. And this rhythm became so ingrained into my daily life that when I chose to dedicate 8 weekends of my life completely to this yogic path and 40 hours a week to a job, I quickly had to readjust my approach to time- because it was no longer all in my hands.

In addition to these set hours of the week, I also now had to accumulate over 50 hours of additional practicum time which meant that, with my already limited amount of free time, I needed to carve out space for homework, reading, and class attendance.

And it has been hard!

I was so naive to think that to become a yoga teacher meant, cruising along and having all my difficulties and challenges melt away as I become this higher-self version of me. Hell no!

Becoming a yoga teacher and dedicating your time to a path that will take you away from family, friends, and personal space is not just a balance of the external relationships but also, your most important relationship.

The relationship with yourself, of course.

YTT is most difficult, most challenging not because of all the external commitments. No. YTT is difficult because of the internal layers that you will need to penetrate and release as you progress towards the ultimate goal of self-discovery. 

As I’ve progressed deeper into my own training, I have noticed the deeply planted doubt that I carry about myself everywhere I go. Doubt in my abilities even after accomplishing what I strived for over a year to do. Doubt in my future, in my direction, in how I will get there, and even where the hell I am going. 

And just as an archaeologist unearthing a beautiful, hidden secret or treasure from within the ancient womb of the Earth, so do you discover an unknown magical quality that you’ve had in you all along. 

Beneath my own layers of doubt and self-criticism, I contain resiliency and determination. This determination was the driving force behind all the rapid changes that have been happening in my life. And rapid changes usually mean imbalance, chaos, and adjustment so naturally, the first 3 weeks included finding balance for my body and mind.  

And while I had assumed that after overcoming an eating disorder and changing courses in my career a number of times that my relationship with myself was fixed- I assumed wrong. Personally, I think maintaining a great relationship with the self takes consistent effort, forgiveness, and compassion.

If I hadn’t been forced to read just over and over again I would have never learned that those who seem more balanced typically have a better relationship with themselves.

As I continue on in my training I am excited to see what else I will discover within myself and how, as I invest more time and energy into a deeper union with my inner self, this growth will manifest. If you are considering/planning on going to a YTT or have done a YTT in the past, remember it’s never too late to reintroduce yourself to who you truly are because your journey isn’t over yet.