The Importance of Introspection in Deconditioning Our Old Patterns

Where have I been for the past 2.5 months? In the oh so dark and infinite depths of my own deconditioning process. Choosing to take time to focus on what has been holding me back from most of my life was not an easy decision to make. But like most of us who run from our problems until we realize that there is truly nowhere where we can go to get away from them, I too reached the edge of my life where I had to make a choice.

Do I continue approaching my own psyche and triggers half-assed or do I surrender to the unknown and step into my own shit with both feet?

Of course, I did the latter.

What Are You Deconditioning From?

We all grow up molded by our external environment and by the thoughts and emotions that shape our perception of it.

“We don’t see the world as it is, but as we are” -Stephen Cope, The Wisdom of Yoga

Each of us has a unique perspective in this world because we don’t see the world as it is but as our personality deems it to be. Our personality is shaped early on in our lives by our personal realities, as Dr. Joe Dispenza puts it, that become stories that we repeat and recycle through over and over again.

This process happens so frequently and subconsciously that we become conditioned without even realizing it. TV commercials are a perfect example of the conditioning process in action. Every time you watch something on the tv that advertises a superior product such as a luxury car, face cream, technological device, or pharmaceutical drug you are being conditioned to want that particular product. To believe in the superiority of that product. And then when you have a matching need, to lean more towards that particular product because you have been conditioned this way.

In other times in our lives, we are conditioned by familial or cultural outdated beliefs, such as “you have to work hard to get anywhere in life” or “struggle is a part of life, so deal with it” or “you must be skinny and popular to be worthy and loved” or “you must go down this particular path in life because it is the only way you will get success and stability”.

Conditioning is so pervasive in our societies today that only when we truly make time for introspection do we recognize how much the stories and beliefs that have been running our lives are not our own. When we begin to live a life that is mostly made up of values and beliefs that are misaligned with our inner truth, we begin to experience duhkha, the yogic word for suffering. The more we resist our true nature and continue to follow these unconscious patterns we twist ourselves up further in our own mess.

“This unconscious conditioning can trigger a chain reactions in the body which detomate an intense serious of actions and reactions — either positive or negative… Our conditioned awareness begins to interact with exteranl reality — modifying what we think of as “objective reality” through the complicated history we have with it” -Stephen Cope

In Order to Recognize Our Own Patterns, We Must Get Still & Uncomfortable

No one likes to sit in their own shit. That’s the truth. It is really uncomfortable and, as humans, we are evolutionarily designed to move away from pain and discomfort. If this weren’t the case, there wouldn’t be such a desperate need in the world for self-care, personal development strategies, or therapists. Instead, we would all be able to face our own thoughts and feelings head-on without having to fend off the numerous voices in our heads.

But this just simply isn’t the case. We have voices. Some of these voices are universal and fall under names such as:

• The Perfectionist
• The Give-to-Others-First-Always
• The Shamer
• The Relentless Judge
• The Gossiper

These voices help keep our minds trapped in the old and the familiar. Running to distractions when, in reality, we need to be sitting still.

I’ve personally spent around 8 years working to decondition myself on and off from deeply rooted patterns and habits that took over my life. Sometimes I wonder, will I ever be done? Each time I stumble and fall and find myself in a seemingly familiar place that I label as “failure” or “stuck” or “lost”, I recognize that, yet again, I must face and overcome an old habit.

In the yogic philosophy, as well as in many other types of psychological or spiritual schools of thought, understanding the root cause of our patterns is essential in our path towards untangling ourselves from their web. Taking time out from our everyday external influences such as our families, friends, tv shows, social media, etc. provides the space, both physical and mental, to start working with ourselves.

Being away from distractions and constant interruptions can be daunting and scary at first for some, especially if close to 90% of your life is made up of moments laced with them. But the truth is, you don’t have to go in blind. You can gently drift in introspection. How? Well, there are a number of methods and most are so simple that they are easy to overlook and discount as helpful — but the truth is, they work. Taking walks alone in the park, sitting down to meditate or just taking 5 minutes to enjoy a cup of tea and the view of a window are a few methods I often employ:)

Taking time to slow down and focus wholeheartedly on ourselves, without judgment is no easy task. That’s why even yogis studied for years to accomplish the task of introspection. And while this may seem unnerving or overwhelming, finally having to face your deeply rooted beliefs and perceptions — it is incredibly insightful and eye-opening.

The problems you once thought had no solutions, now have a few more options you weren’t so open to before. The tasks you thought were unsurmountable to achieve your goals seem more digestible when you remove the useless chatter of your monkey mind. And to be fair, for most of us, the 60,000–70,000 thoughts we have per day, are repetitive and habitual.

Introspection is not the easy way out. Sidestepping your feelings and thoughts, allowing them to create chaos without any observation, is an easy alternative. But I can tell you from multiple bouts of sidestepping and watching others do the same, it doesn’t get you where you want to go. Going into your feelings, diving in deep is the way through.

“The mind is transformed only by direct, systematic and careful personal investigation of experience. Not by concepts about reality. Not by metaphysical constructs. Alas, there is no way to understand the afflicated mind-state of craving, aversion, and delusion without exploring our own immediate expereince of them.” — Stephen Cope

You must know of your own suffering and patterns before you are able to decondition yourself from them. When you are alone and are able to be fully honest with yourself, you may not like what you unearth. You may even hate it. Hate this aspect of yourself. The thoughts. But never forget — that they are not you. You are underneath all of the labels, thoughts, preconceived notions, beliefs, and the walls you put up to protect yourself. The image you work hard to create to fit in.

You are a small part of this enormous universe. And it just starts with a bit of introspection to start seeing it yourself.